Thursday, August 30, 2007

Criswell Predicts...

"There is so much future gossip, I don't know where to begin!"

[You know why we're here -- if not, check the Monday and Tuesday posts to review...
  • and here's a 'why now,' in case you're wondering. Happy 100th, Criswell, whatever future you inhabit!]
  • __________________

    Cloud Over The Moon

    I predict that our Scientists will be concerned about a mysterious cloud appearing over the moon two years after we land there! The cloud will stay there, hiding the moon from earth view, much to the amazement of the world! Many will say it is created by living people beyond the moon to deter our new progress in space! I predict it will be Mother Nature's warning that we are going too far and to immediately stop!

    The Blind Shall See

    I predict that within the next ten years the blind shall see with the scientific installation of tiny radar sets in the eye sockets which will relate to the brain the objects around!

    The Automatic Atomic Plague

    I predict that during the next ten years we will be faced with what the Historians will call "the automatic atomic plague" which will sweep certain parts of the world! Our miracle men of medicine will search for a miracle to control this galloping, astounding and shocking disease!

    Symptoms: Slight chills due from poor circulation. Certain dizziness and loss of balance! Ravenous appetite! Cravings for pastry, rich gravies, confections and candy. Skin blotches of purple, shortage of breath and tired aching muscles will be followed by the abdominal muscles giving away and the intestines dropping to the floor, completely unattached!
    Treatment: The patient should take to bed at once for a period of one hour, then must walk an hour to restore circulation. After the third day the intestines drop to the floor, and the abdomen is open, bleeding and could mean a certain fatality in some cases, but in others the intestines remaining grow back together, as Mother Nature mends!
    Destination: The destination of this epidemic-plague will cover most of the world effecting half a billion citizens of all countries. The hard hit will be the Orient and Africa, France, England and Nova Scotia.
    Length of Plague: I predict this automatic atomic plague-epidemic will run its course within three years and will depart as mysteriously as it came like a thief in the night who stole a half-billion lives!

    Cravings for pastry? Have Wheaties instead this AM! If it's already too late, tuck in that forty feet of Fruit Loops splayed all over the floor and have a great Thursday!