Rolling blogs this weekend, posting as time permits.
But for the weekend, we open with -- Criswell Predicts!
The following is transcribed here exactly as it appears in Criswell Predicts: From Now to the Year 2000, with no close to the "geologist" quotation (huh? What geologist?), etc. I suspect that geologist quote ends somewhere between the surface of the earth bulging "ever so slightly" and the juke boxes going mute, but hey, that's just me.
Hmmm, had Criswell lived, would he have served as a science advisor in Bush's administration?
Enough! Without further ado -- Criswell predicts!
"O my Friend, as the dark seasons roll, what of your incredible future? Can our whirling, turning, churning earth last out the night? Our geologists tell us that the danger to Mother Earth lies not in the uncharted vast of outer space, but from inner-earth! Like the apple that rots at the core and explodes into a decaying mass! Like the human body when burial corrodes from within! Here is what will more than likely happen, and we quote from our geologists: "Small tidal waves will play havoc for no reason at all. The surface of the earth will bulge ever so slightly and highways will slightly buckle. Foundations will tip, and floors will slant. When you pour a cup of coffee or a glass of water, the rim will not level. Telephone coin boxes and vending machines will refuse to work. Delicate instruments will go haywire. Elevators will go out of whack. Juke boxes will be mute. Radio and tv will fail. All electric power, gas and water service will cease. And then will come the time when garbage cans roll across the street for no apparent reason. Then and only then will you realize the advanced corrosion spelling the end of our Earth. The seas will quickly fill up with a gooey mass of inner-earth rubble. Our streets and city lots, farms and deserts will bubble up like a festered boil, marking the complete collapse. Has this happened before? More than likely! And it will happen again in your incredible future!"