Monday, August 27, 2007

"Public Service is Honorable, and Noble..."

  • "Even my worst days as attorney general have been better than my father's best days," Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said during his announcement a little over a half hour ago;
  • choose your poison.

  • I think this clears the deck of all President Bush's Texan cronies from his Governorship, doesn't it? Of course, Vice-President Cheney remains in power, but the Bush inner conclave has now departed, all under various clouds of shame, humiliation and dishonor.


    Indeed He Does...

    ...all this week!

    Unspent Time

    I predict that it is entirely possible for you to bequeath and will to someone your unspent time at your death!

    A new insurance policy soon to be issued, will permit funds to be paid to someone you wish to honor after your death, with full expenses on some trip which you could not take!

    This insurance policy will be listed in your estate as top priority, and cannot be cancelled by the whims of your relatives or the executor!

    It will be pre-paid out of your estate... a most wonderful gift... of your unspent time... plus expenses... for a very dear friend! You can bequeath your unspent time!

    This week's Criswell Predicts retrospective comes to you via Your Next Ten Years: Criswell Predicts (1969, Droke House), compliments of my old amigo Steve Perry.

    "Let the record show... My predictions come true at an amazing rate. In my first book, Criswell Predicts to the Year 2000!, I predicted 'the assassination of the nation's top Civil Rights leader,' who, of course, was Dr. Martin Luthor King. And many other of my predictions in that book have come true or are coming true. Many of the predictions in this book will refer the reader to my more expansive commentary on the subject in my earlier book. Then, as now, I invite the reader to 'keep record' of my predictions and see for himself whether these things come to pass. - Criswell"

    Four decades later, we're on it, Criswell!

    A quick bio (by me; please post comments if I've got anything wrong here):

    Reportedly, Charles Criswell King (1907-1982) became The Amazing Criswell when, as a television newscaster, he ran out of copy and filled the otherwise-empty minutes ahead with an off-the-top-of-his-head prediction of the next day’s events. One of his improvised “predictions” came true, and The Amazing Criswell was born. This regional rep spread via his newspaper column “Criswell Predicts,” his early 1950s TV show Criswell Predicts and even LP records -- Your Future and Someone Walked Over My Grave. His shameless self-promotion as a celebrity psychic exploded when an appearance on The Jack Paar Show included his prophecizing the assassination of President John F. Kennedy; his eventual infamy for this prediction fueled his books, Criswell Predicts (1968) and Your Next Ten Years (1969). However, it was filmmaker Ed Wood’s casting of Criswell (as himself) in Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958) -- and the later, lesser-known Night of the Ghouls (1960, but long unreleased) and Orgy of the Dead (1965) -- that forever endeared the psychic to future generations. Jeffrey Jones played Criswell in Tim Burton’s biopic Ed Wood. Criswell is buried in Valhalla Memorial Park in North Hollywood, CA., resting place of Oliver Hardy, wrestler "Gorgeous George" Wagner, Gail Russell, Cliff ("Ukulele Ike") Edwards (the voice of Jiminy Cricket!), Curly-Joe De Rita, Aneta Corsaut (The Blob, The Andy Griffith Show), and Petticoat Junction’s Bea Benaderet; the marker on his wall crypt reportedly reads "Criswell Predicts."

  • My fave Criswell online resource remains this one, though some of the links no longer work.
  • ___________________________

  • Alberto Gonzales is just about gone -- it's about time.
  • If only his President and Vice-President would do the same... it all begins with them.

    Have a memorable Monday...

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